A TRU Conversation

by Feb 16, 2019Verna's Corner

I would really love to have a true conversation with you! 🙂

This may seem like an inane kind of topic to have; for don’t we all have ‘conversations’ with someone most everyday? What initially started out as something that I thought might be ‘easy’ to write, turned out to be a wonderful discovery of so many practical and used ideas and led me in so many different thought provoking directions that I decided I would have to write more than one article to try to encompass them all.

So, for now, I will try to focus on just the idea of what it means to have a real conversation, a true conversation, with someone; and why it is as ‘simple and yet ‘not quite as simpleas it would seem to be at first glance.

It seems every time we turn around we hear the phrase in one type of forum or another … ‘Let’s start a conversation about …’ or ‘We need to begin that conversation about …’

So, perhaps I should begin my ‘true conversation’ with you by defining what a ‘conversation’ is and is it somehow different from what I view as having a ‘true conversation’? I tend to think so and I would like to try to explain to you why I feel this way.

A popular dictionary describes a ‘conversation’ this way …

an oral exchange of sentiments, observations, opinions, or ideas

an informal talk in which two or more people exchange thoughts, feelings, or ideas, or in which news or information is given or discussed

a discussion with someone about a particular subject

talk between two or more people in which thoughts, feelings, and ideas are expressed, questions are asked and answered, or news and information is exchanged

When we look at the definitions above I think it would be fair to say that this is how most of us would tend to define what a ‘conversation’ is and means; that of being … a verbal exchange of ideas or thoughts between two or more people.

Sounds pretty simple right …?

At first glance this may seem to be so. However, is it the best definition? Does this give us the fullest picture of what a ‘true conversation’ could be? Is it merely just words that we speak back and forth at one another that qualifies as ‘having a true conversation’?

When I read the various definitions from other dictionaries of what they said a conversation was, I don’t know about you, but I found that for me, they left me feeling rather flat and cold. I felt like there was something vitally important and beautiful missing in how they defined it. That they somehow missed the essence of what a true conversation should be.

Could we perhaps discover that there is much more profound and meaningful than just having an exchange of words, ideas, news with others when it comes to having a conversation with someone?

I thought that maybe exploring this may be beneficial to us all by helping us not only grow to become more effective as ‘true conversationalists’ … but more importantly, it can be something that can help us to establish and develop lasting warm and caring friendships in our personal lives as well as long-term trusting relationships with others in business.

There are some basic common sense things that I think we should keep in mind before diving into this far-reaching topic.

The first thing we need to consider when wanting to begin a true conversation with someone is to know what the purpose for having it is. Is it a general type of conversation where it is quick or is it more intimate and personal? Is it to make someone laugh or to impart information? Is it to share a story or catch up on some news with a friend or does it involve more of a business nature?

No matter what the reason you have to speak with someone may be, there are two important things that you should keep in mind if you want to have a positive affect with them …

You must always be sincere in how you say something and always be honest in whatever you say.

Another thing we must never forget is that a true conversation involves at least two people, not just one.

How do we feel when someone monopolizes the whole conversation?

What is it like to talk with pretentious people who tend to talk about only about themselves, what they like or are doing?

Have you ever been in ‘conversations’ where someone asks you a question or your opinion on something and then just goes right on talking, without waiting for you to reply?

How about those who have a superior kind of attitude, that they always seem to know what is best or have all the answers?

Have you ever felt trapped by high pressured salespeople that immediately comes up to you to ‘sell’ you on something that they say you ‘need’ or ‘just have to have’, when all you may have been doing was browsing?

Do any of these types of scenarios sound appealing to you?

Do they make you feel like you would want to stay and continue to have a conversation with them?

I think the answer is fairly obvious. A true conversation with someone should involve them as much as it involves you. It is a two-way street. When you are on that ‘street’, sometimes you are the driver and sometimes you are the passenger.

No matter which ‘seat’ you are sitting in, it is good to remember that you are both in the same car heading toward your particular destination. Wouldn’t it be much better to try to make the journey a pleasant one for everyone!

So, when it comes to having a true conversation, where should we begin?

How about …

Hi, (or hello) … how are you (doing) today? 🙂

To Be Continued … 😉

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